Today started off with an earthquake, with a magnitude of 5.9! I was awake in my bed reading about Shintoism and all of a sudden my bed started to shake like it was possessed.
Was I dreaming? How much tequila DID I drink last night?
So I did what I always do when I want to check on current events: I went on Facebook and watched the status updates. Sure enough, it was an earthquake.
What was next on this epic day of adventure?
My house-guest extraordinaire and I took a really long time assembling ourselves. First we had to do some super-charged cleaning. You see, last night we threw open the doors of my small closet in search of the most epic outfits possible on my limited wardrobe. We made a mess. What did we come up with?
May we present to you, King Tut Tiger and Scout Leader.
This gorgeous girl was my inspiration. I wanted to bring a mug with me too.
Here are some cleaning songs from this afternoon:
Result? My apartment is SPARKLING!
Joseph is a friend from Canada. We attended the most amazing arts high-school together.
We are both very creative and like to laugh a lot.
We have started taking notes about our adventures and our shared opinions. Some of them are as follows:
Beards = hot
Sweatpants = hot!
Lumberjacks = hot!
Is your beard biblical? Does it have snow in it? = POUNCE!
Morning workouts = good
Garlic broad beans are good (and bad!)
Fried mushrooms are the bomb.
All the songs from Juno are great:
We have rainbow fans!
As the apartment became more and more organized I took notice of the suicidal poinsettia plant lurking near my front door. It was time for that dead plant to get the f*ck out of my apartment. So Joseph let it ride in the elevator for a while.
We laughed for about 10 minutes straight and then decided it would be funnier if it had eyes.
So Joseph made eyes for it.
And now it welcomes our neighbors in the hallway:
After laughing like hyenas we finally made it to Tiger City to watch a movie. I have heard so much about the Gold Class theater: they have comfy lazy-boy type chairs, and they serve you food, and give you blankets! So we went there and got confused about what was playing and when. Nothing was posted very clearly. The only thing we had to go on was a printed list with the names of the films and the showtimes. CONFUSING! I can't read Chinese so we blindly chose a movie called "This Means War". It said "Romantic Comedy" and we really don't like romcoms, but we just went with it.
Looking for the ATM was an adventure. It didn't make sense that the ATMs were complicated to get to, and located in the B2 level of the mall. CONFUSING!! And it didn't make sense that a gangster was using the English interface to cheat me. SO CONFUSED!! BUT SO FUNNY!!
The more confused we became the more funny everything was.
We decided that confusing + confusing + confusing = hilarity.
We finally made it back up to the top floor and wandered around in a store with crazy stuff. After laughing at a million things I found these funny little dolls. They said "Honey Shake: serving you in a very tender way" on them. I couldn't figure out if they were filled with sweet stuff or what. CONFUSING! but then I realized they were vibrators! I bought this hilarious little cowboy guy. Hilarious!!
On our way to the Gold Class theater we got lost again. Confusedly we found the elevators, but they were taking so long to come. More confusion = hilariousness.
Then, we made it! Sort of. The entrance area looked like a cafe. Our movie started in 5 minutes, and the hostess was asked us to sit down at a small table and gave us a menu! CONFUSING! We picked out drinks and popcorn and went with it, while laughing and being completely confused of course.
(By this time the word "confused" should be replaced by "bewildered".)
In the end, we made it to this incredible cushy theater.
We were offered blankets, and reclined in pillowy Lazyboy chairs.
The trailers started to run. There are a lot of cool movies coming out soon. One of them seemed to have Tom Hardy in it. "I LOVE Tom Hardy!", I said to Joseph. I proceeded to oogle Tom Hardy on screen. Then I realized that the movie had started and it featured Tom Hardy. Most excellent! Hooray for today!
We agree. Tom Hardy is exceptionally hot.
The movie was quite good and we laughed a lot. Maybe it was because the movie was really funny, or maybe we were already on a roll. There were explosions and nice outfits and spectacular romantic scenarios.
Tom Hardy was being his sexy delicious self. Glad I bought that cowboy!
The weather is FREEZING and we had to drive back on the scoot. Luckily, I had my panda costume in the trunk so Joseph wore it for the ride back, to the amusement and confusion of fellow motorists.
When we got back in we Googled Tom Hardy and now know that he is going to be in the next Batman movie. EXCITING! I don't have many celebrity crushes, probably because a lot of my attraction is based on attitude and personality, but Tom Hardy has the attitude + looks combo.
So all in all, a really funny day. At this rate I will have deep crow's feet by the end of the week.
What fun adventures lie in store for tomorrow?